I have loved literacy for longer than I can remember. Even when I was very young, I always proudly owned my identity as a reader. I'm like a cyclist with strong legs and weak arms; I've been reluctant to embrace writing as part of my identity alongside reading.
I recently realized that there is no licensing board, no gatekeepers waiting to anoint the chosen few as worthy of calling themselves writers. Just as I can declare myself a runner even though I'm not at all fast, a traveler even though I've never gotten paid for it, a cheese-lover despite not having the most refined palate, I can choose to be a writer. Emily Dickinson was one of the greatest American writers of all time, and she barely published anything during her lifetime; I am a writer despite having never been published or gaining a following of loyal readers. I owe a huge debt of gratitude to Jen Laffin of TeachWrite for helping open my eyes to the writing fears that were getting in my way.
I have a lot of great excuses not to try as a writer. Perhaps the loudest voice is my sense of "lost time" to be beginning this writer's journey now. How much better of a writer could I have been if I'd worked at it all along? Of course, there's the (possibly Chinese? my research is inconclusive) proverb that the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, but the second-best time is now. Yet I'm struck that from the time I learned to write, I've never actually stopped. I have written for different purposes, sure, but I've been writing, and writing, and writing, and writing, despite not giving myself that label.
I am a writer because I love written language. I love the feeling of choosing the best turn of phrase to represent my thoughts. I love the thoughtfulness of re-reading and revising - that extra time to think before communicating. I love the clean and orderly feel of proofreading and editing, like sweeping the floor or putting jigsaw pieces together. It's a sense of control and mastery, it's relaxing, it's meditative, it's creative, it's thrilling because it's risky. As much as possible, I'm challenging myself to abandon those excuses, the "rules" I've imagined about how, when, how often, and what to write. I'm going to go for it, and I hope my life will never be quite the same.